Witt’s birth put me on a path of finding a much more comfortable and, statistically, a much safer way to give birth–the way most people on earth do it. Birth is not a complicated medical procedure as we are led to believe by those who gain financially by making it so.
I am so excited to share this next chapter in my “birthing journey”…
FACING THE FEAR OF A NEW PREGNANCY
After Witt’s traumatic birth, I was, needless to say, less than thrilled when I found out that I was pregnant with another baby. (We found out the month Witt was a year old. Obviously I was not one of those women that “forgets the pain” of childbirth too quickly!)
When I took the home pregnancy test that confirmed that I was pregnant, I LITERALLY locked myself in the bathroom and cried for two or three hours! I WAS NOT going to go thru the hell of a hospital birth again!
I came out of the bathroom and informed Jeff that I would be having this baby ALONE, in the BATHTUB! **Grin**
He saw that I was coming from a place of supreme fear, and eventually, convinced me to consider a “more middle-of-the-road” alternative. We prayed about having this baby at home–with a midwife–and IMMEDIATELY both Jeff and I felt an overwhelming feeling of PEACE…we knew that we had our Heavenly Father’s blessing to have this baby at home.
Taking this first step was a TREMENDOUS relief to me!
I had a friend that had birthed all eight of her children at home with a midwife, and I began asking her questions. I then started asking around in “the right” circles for names of local midwives.
We found a few that were close, and began interviewing past clients. Because we lived 45 minutes from a major city, we knew that we were going to be using a midwife that was at least 45 minutes away…this was a bit scary to me because I knew we would be delivering in the dead middle of winter, in a place that frequently CLOSED THE FREEWAYS because of snow fall! But, we knew what we had felt after praying, and went on with faith, in spite of all of the obstacles we felt we were facing.
I continued seeing the NEW OB/GYN…(on the other side of the mountain from the hospital I birthed Witt at!) just “in case” we would end up transporting at delivery…(oh, me of little faith!)
We found Linda, a great Christian midwife with whom I felt very comfortable.
TAKING AN ACTIVE ROLE IN THE PREGNANCY
I was determined that this pregnancy would be a polar opposite from Witt’s.
Three weeks prior to discovering I was pregnant, I had turned in my resignation at the high school where I had been teaching–that was a great first step. As I finished off the year at the school, I was overwhelmed with fear of what we were going to do financially. I was making TWO THIRDS of the income in our family…and it was going to END as soon as school was out! BUT…I knew that I would be a stay-at-home mother for this baby and, as a result, breastfeeding would be infinitely easier from the start. So, I was still striving to find balance.
I walked every day on my teacher’s preparation hour. I ate WONDERFULLY…going as far as to put a chart on my refrigerator to count grams of protein…my goal was 100 grams a day! I rarely missed a day of reaching the goal.
I had researched and found that one of the reasons I had “gone pre-ecclamptic” with Witt was that I was LIVING on processed carbohydrates…not good for an already obese woman growing a baby!
We had found an organic farm in the valley that delivered fresh produce to the small hardware store on our mountain, and we were in HEAVEN! Every Thursday, I went to the hardware store and got a box of the best vegetables and fruit that money could buy, and we feasted! By Saturday, we were wishing we could afford two boxes a week. I surrounded myself with people that were comfortable with the idea of homebirth, and in the process formed some eternal friendships with women that changed my life.
We knew, sadly, that we would not be able to tell my family about our birth plans. I was already a bit of an outcast in my family, and this would have just worried everyone SICK…and we did not want to face the criticism for such a private, personal decision as this.
I read all I could about natural birth; we took a “quasi” Bradley (Husband Coached Childbirth) class at the local health clinic. We talked about our dreams for this birth.
After realizing that the class offered the clinic was not going to be enough, we signed up for a Bradley class. A woman named Sharon was the teacher. She was a good friend of our midwife, and we felt comfortable with her.
We went religiously to our Bradley classes, learning how to relax and work as a team. In the process, our marriage blossomed. We had some time together without our baby, and learned how to talk again.
ANXIOUS FOR THE BIRTH. REALLY!
As we approached my due date, we were trying to plan on how to work it so my mother could be there again. We decided that we would just set a date for her to fly in, and hope I delivered in that week she would stay.
The week she came into town we had just been picking apples at the local farm, and they were fast in need of being canned.
So, on November 17th and 18th, we were canning apple pie filling. It was such great fun! The night of the 18th, I decided that I was ready to try Castor oil…I really wanted Leah born before my mother needed to fly out on the afternoon of the 22nd.
So, I took two ounces of Castor oil in two ounces of Lemon juice and SLUGGED it down! (It was way worse psychologically than it was physically!)
I had not been having good bowel movements, so this really was a great thing for me to do at this point! But, sadly, while it cleaned me out and allowed me to have a really clean colon for the first time in weeks, it did NOT, as hoped, kick me into labor.
So, we relaxed and sat around reading, playing cards, talking…just WAITING to have a baby…it was so boring! **Grin**
BUT…had I been scheduled to have this baby in a HOSPITAL…they would have been doing non-stress tests, more blood sugar testing, and intervention upon intervention that could have led to another “less than desirable birth” for my baby and myself. Internally, (I thought) I really was quite content to wait for her to come on her own time!
HOUR ZERO – IT BEGINS!
On the evening of the 20th, I decided to try the castor oil trick again. (Patient, ME?) I hemmed and hawed a bit longer this time before I could choke it down…although it really is not THAT unpleasant, it is still really thick to swallow!
At about 4:00 am, I woke up with diarrhea…and THIS time, my uterus decided to “play along!”
I did not, however, believe that I was in labor…so I sat on the toilet for about a half hour and them went back to bed.
At about 6:00, on the morning of November 21st, after laying on my left side watching the clock and confirming that I was having contractions every 5 minutes, I woke Jeff up. We were excited, thinking we would have a baby that day. We went down stairs and had a good breakfast of soft-boiled eggs and whole-wheat toast. I even indulged in some orange juice, so that I would have a good level of sugar in my blood for delivery.
We called Linda at about 8:00 in the morning, and she said she would drive up the mountain as soon as she could.
Jeff and my mom and I sat around playing rummy cube and other board games, and just pausing for contractions.
HURRY UP AND WAIT.
HOUR SIX – 5 cm
Linda got to the house at about 10:00 and said I was at 5centimeters…I was so discouraged. I was ready to deliver! **Grin**
It was going to prove to be a LONG day!
Linda was alone. Normally, she would have another midwife assisting her, but I had agreed, earlier in the pregnancy, to meet the other midwife, and was PROFOUNDLY uncomfortable with her!
I was, however, very proud of myself for TELLING Linda about it instead of just “going with the flow” and ending up miserable because this woman was in my home! But, we could all tell that it was a strain on Linda’s psyche to be alone. So, she called Sharon, the Bradley teacher to come and assist her at the birth. We were okay with Sharon being there, as we had felt very close to her for months.
Sharon had a date to the matinee performance at the symphony, scheduled with her husband, so she left for a while to go to that…and we “happily” labored along.
HOUR TEN – 7 cm
In the afternoon, I was hungry, so I ate some cheese and crackers. Linda called the other midwife that I had “rebuffed”, and she said: “If she is still eating, she is nowhere close!” It turned out that she was PARTIALLY right!
An hour later, I was throwing up the cheese and crackers…not a pleasant experience!
Linda decided to check me, and I was dilated to seven centimeters…I was thrilled! Surely it would not be long now…right?! WRONG!!!
So, we adjourned to our bedroom. I lay on my left side, pleading with Heavenly Father to help me get through these two minute contractions that I felt were going to kill me!
I was stuck at seven centimeters for the next FIVE HOURS! Sharon would sit behind me on the bed with her FISTS in the small of my back…I was having tremendous back labor…
What I should have been doing was standing up dancing the hula (see Abel’s birth story!)
HOUR THIRTEEN – 9 cm
Looking back…I was in a state of total FEAR at this point. I was sitting on the edge of the bed talking to Leah…and myself, I imagine. “Down and OUT, down and OUT!” I repeatedly mumbled! (As if she didn’t know the way. ** grin**)
As I labored, sitting perfectly still so that “it would not hurt,” (huh?!?) I grew more and more apprehensive about my ability to do this “home birth thing.”
I would walk around down stairs for a minute and say to Linda: “Okay, I am ready for the hospital and a c-section!”
And Linda, true to form, would say: “Jessica, as soon as we got in the car, you’d deliver…do you want to have this baby at home or in your car on the freeway?” And I’d head back up stairs to lie in the knee/chest position and pray for a break!
I DID, however during this time, progress to NINE centimeters!!! YIPPEE! Only to be stuck in the same place of fear for ANOTHER THREE HOURS!!!
I could tell that Linda was getting really concerned, that she was getting a bit frustrated with me telling her that she could not have that other midwife there for HER emotional support.
WHAM!!!
FINALLY…Linda got a bit pushy! (Looking back, I believe had she gotten in my face and MADE me face the issues I was avoiding, I would have delivered HOURS earlier!) She and my mother both came into the bedroom and said: “Jessica, you HAVE GOT TO get UP!!!”
So…I got up! We had two sets of stairs that formed a “V” in our home at the time…one that led to a loft and one that led to the bedrooms. I walked to the top of the stairs, and took ONE step down, and WHAM!!! I was hit by the biggest contraction I had felt yet. (Keep in mind, Jeff is a step BELOW me on the stairs, supporting me through this contraction…he will tell you that the next ten minutes were the most grueling of the whole labor…of course, HE was holding a pregnant woman up on the steps that whole time!)
I would take two steps (fast!) and have a two-minute contraction. Two more steps, and have another two-minute contraction…all the way DOWN, UP, DOWN and back UP!!!
In hindsight, I was too concerned about JEFF during this time to be afraid, and I dilated that last centimeter, and Leah MOVED DOWN!!!
I got to the top of the stairs by our bedroom and went straight back to the bed! I lay down on my left side, simply exhausted!
I had been having HUGE contractions every time I got up to go to the bathroom, and all of the sudden, I knew I had to go again…I announced to the room that “I have to poop, and SOMEONE is going to catch it, because I am NOT getting on that toilet again!”
Jeff, being the dutiful, mellow man that he is, trotted to the bathroom, got a big handful of toilet paper, and was READY to catch!
So, I PUSHED…HARD…and, my water broke two feet in every direction!
So, now, there sits Jeff, with a wad of sodden toilet paper, stunned at what had just happened! And, in walks Linda!
She says, “wait! You can’t push, I need to check you!” She dons a glove and goes to check my cervix, and bumps Leah’s head, Leah is about to crown! YIPPEE!
I scream at her: “GET your hand OUT of ME!!!” She says, “Oh, we have a head! Keep pushing!”
So, I do!
Linda then gets the oil we had for perineal massage so that I would not tear, and starts stretching my perineum. Again, I yell: “get your hands out of ME!”
She tells me:” Jessica, I am rubbing oil on so you won’t tear.”
I am FINE with her hand then! **Grin**
She coaches me through pushing, about two to three contractions, all the while mentioning how WELL I push! (I am NOT in the mood for compliments at this point!) Leah’s head is delivered, in a matter of two minutes, with her cord twice around her neck.
Linda gently removed the cord and says: “Give me another push.” I give her a “delivering the HEAD” push instead of a “breathe the body out” push…and Leah literally catches air…and lands on the bed (and, this is where her shoulder tore me a tiny three stitch tear.)
(Leah weighed 8 pounds, 14 ounces!)!
WOW!!! I did it! Linda gently placed Leah on my chest, massaging her back with a dry towel. As she is doing this, she is saying a quiet prayer: “Thank you, Heavenly Father, for allowing this beautiful baby to be born in this peaceful, quite home…etc.”
WHEN THE BIRTH IS NATURAL, EVEN 18 HOURS OF LABOR IS BEAUTIFUL!
Leah was born a little after midnight on the 22nd of November.
The Spirit was so incredibly strong! It was, perhaps one of the most stunningly beautiful moments of my life to date.
Leah lifted her head up, looked straight into my eyes, and then laid her head back down and proceeded to root around for a breast.
I helped her out, got her latched on, and she nursed like a PRO!!! (Her nickname was officially HOOVER for the first few months!)
She nursed while I delivered the placenta. Linda was concerned that I was bleeding too much, (and I was probably bleeding a bit more than I should have, it HAD been a long ordeal, after all)! She had my mom give me a shot of Pitocin on my thigh, and was content that this would solve the problem.
I nursed Leah for about 30 minutes, then got up and sat on the toilet for another 15 minutes, all the while holding this BIG, beautiful baby girl.
Finally, mom and Linda convinced me that it was time to shower and bathe Leah, so Mom took Leah and bathed and dressed her, and Jeff and Linda helped me shower. Really, I needed very little help, I felt SPECTACULAR!!!
So, I got out of the shower, dried off, and went to the bed so that Linda could check my bottom.
That is when she saw the tinny tear…she put a few stitches in it, and we were off!
They brought Leah back to me, and we lay in that clean, cool bed nursing and sleeping for the rest of the day.
Eighteen total hours of labor, all at home, all drug free…and all beautiful! (In hindsight, of course! **grin**)
Jeff took my mother to the airport, and we just slept! (A friend had kept Witt overnight, and he stayed with her and her children until Jeff got home from the airport.)
When Jeff and Witt got home, they climbed right into bed with Leah and I, and we all took a good nap! It was beautiful!
