By this point, I realized that labor and birth don’t have to be days-long torture routines. Rather, they can be short…and enjoyable. And even when medical care is necessary, disrespect by personnel is not tolerated.
PREFACE
We found out we were pregnant the month Leah turned one! I stood in the bathroom of a friend’s house yelling, “Which window is NOT supposed to have a LINE?” My best friend was bursting into laughter up stairs!
I was THRILLED…after crying for about an hour. *Grin*
We had moved to Arizona, and needed to find a new midwife to deliver this baby. I called the entire list home birthing women I knew and asked for the names of a few local midwives. When I had a list of about 15, I started calling and setting up interviews.
In the mean time, Jeff and I decided that we’d better PRAY about this…maybe? *Grin* As we prayed about where to have this baby, and to be guided in our search for a midwife, we never felt the confirmation (that home birth was the right thing) we had with Leah…and it was disturbing to both Jeff and I.
BUT…I continued interviewing midwives anyway…true to my stubborn nature! As I was creating my list of questions to ask each midwife, I felt very strongly that I needed to add: “And If I could NOT deliver at home, what OB would you recommend in town?” So I did. We interviewed and sifted thru these wonderful choices for a labor support person, I asked each of them the question…and amazingly, they all replied with the same name: Dr. Deryl Lamb.
We chose our top three midwives but, STILL, neither Jeff nor I could feel comfortable with the concept of delivering at home. We were SO distraught. I was angry. Leah’s birth had been so beautiful and calm. We wanted that same peace again, and we just KNEW that we would never get it delivering in a hospital.
So…I FINALLY *grin* LISTENED to the promptings of the Spirit, and called Dr. Lamb’s office. I was quickly told that he was not accepting new patients…(pause) “unless you are pregnant” “I AM!!!” I shouted with glee! Oh, but you have to have one of two insurances…” I DO!!” I said.
So I scheduled an appointment with this highly recommended doctor. When I met him, I KNEW he was for me! I told him, “I am considering a home birth, and have had one before.” And braced for a lecture. (I had gotten the same from all of the other OB/GYN’s that I had interviewed…we called it the “stupid/selfish” lecture.)
Instead, he hitched a hip onto the sink and said:
“I believe that intelligent, educated, healthy women deserve the right to make that choice…who is your midwife?” Needless to say…you could have knocked me over with a feather! It was the beginning of a super doctor patient relationship! So I continued seeing Dr Lamb, and the midwife we had chosen (Darcy).
In the end, we knew that we needed to follow the promptings to deliver in the hospital, and very grudgingly, I made the plans to do so. We also decided that we would hire Darcy to act as Montrice. (A Labor support person who can legally use her nursing skills, but is not planning on delivering the baby at home.) It was a good arrangement for all of us!
HERBAL INDUCTION
I went to see Dr Lamb on the morning of July 10th, 2001. He checked me and said I was at three centimeters, and to make an appointment for next week…
I said, “NO! We are having a baby before that!”
I went home and called Darci. “Tell me that herbal induction you were talking about…it’s TIME to have this baby!”
That night, I did a labor induction, using blue Cohosh herb made into an enema, and black and blue cohosh under the tongue…and my old friend Castor oil!
I started the three-hour induction at about 8:00…and finished early, because I was NOT going to take a THIRD dose of castor oil! *Grin* (I had tried PLAIN Castor oil earlier in the week!)
LABOR…ALREADY?
At about 2:00 am I woke up to a FULL BLOWN contraction…the “sit down, focus through the pain and DEAL WITH IT” kind of contraction.
I can only assume that there had been many previous contractions that I had slept through.
I went in and sat on the toilet. The castor oil was working, and unlike Leah’s birth, I believe that I would have gone into labor without it. (Just using the blue cohosh enema and tinctures under my tongue.)
I labored for about 20 minutes, and realized that this was IT…so I banged on the bathroom wall to get Jeff to come in. (We had sent the kids to a friend’s house because I just KNEW that the induction would work!) He came in and I asked him to help me get set up…I wanted my birth ball in the living room, and my labor support people…NOW! I called Andrea (my best friend) and Darci (the midwife) and my mother…and they were all there by 3:30.
THE POWER OF THE MIND
I had decided early in this pregnancy that I was not going to be afraid of the birth process. After all, women HAD been doing this for millennia and it IS what God created this magnificent female body FOR…right?
As each contraction came, I would make “happy noises”…saying out loud…”Yes, oh yeah, mmmm hmmmm” and similar things. (Andrea joked between contractions that she did not like the fact that she now knew what I sounded like during sex! *giggle*)
When Darci got there, we went into the bedroom and she offered to check me for dilation…I was ready to know “where I was” in this process! I was about five centimeters…after only an hour or two of labor!!! YIPPEE!
We moved the birth ball into the bathroom, and I labored on it in front of the bathroom sink…I was throwing up now. (I have thrown up with all of my births…about a centimeter before transition…I guess it is my body’s way of getting ready.) So…here I am, throwing up mint tea and Chlorophyll water…not entirely unpleasant! *Grin*
Darci later suggested that I move to a smaller ball that we had and “hula” my hips. (I had been dealing with a VERY posterior cervix the whole pregnancy, and doing the hula will move the cervix forward for an easier delivery.)
So…I sat on a ‘large child’s ball” and hula-ed my heart out while holding on to the post of my bed.
I learned a GREAT lesson here…ATTITUDE IS EVERY THING!!! I lost my “happy noises” on a few contractions and they were the ones that “got the better of me.” As soon as I regained my positive attitude and happy noises…I could manage the pain so much better!
At about 5:30 I told Darci that I did not like her very much for making me hula…and she suggested that we check my dilation! *Big grin* I was at six centimeters, but she could stretch me to seven…it was time to go.
THE MAD DASH
We got into the car, with me holding my throw-up bowl (thankfully never needing it!). It was 45 minutes to the hospital where Dr. Lamb delivered.
On the way, Darci asked me to tell her “where I was” mentally. I kept repeating that “Heavenly Father is giving me a BREAK”…And I only had six or seven contractions on the drive. Darci said later that she was afraid that I was stalling my labor, and she was worried.
Andrea ran a few red lights, and we got to the hospital fine.
The admitting nurse began asking me a string of questions pertaining to my pre-admit information. I was contracting and mumbling, so we weren’t making much progress. Darci very politely leaned over my shoulder and said to the nurse: “I am her midwife…and she was seven centimeters when we left home 45 minutes ago.”
The nurse finally looked up and said, “Oh, we’d better get her into a room then.” She got me into a room and told me to put on a gown. I handed my clothes to Andrea and was hit with a MASSIVE contraction. I walked over to the side of the bed and instinctively squatted down…and my water broke EVERWHERE. (During this, the nurse was trying to get the gown on me…and I was angrily waving her off… “Give me a minute, LADY!”)
I got the gown on and one of the nurses came in and said, “We have to get a read on the baby.”
She told me that I had to lie on my back for the next 20 minutes so that they could check his heart tones. I told her that we had been checking them, and they were fine. She pulled an “It’s hospital policy, dear” on me and I turned to her and said, “I am NOT laying on my BACK for these contractions. I will lie on my side…get what you can from that…we are NOT going to be here long!
While that nurse was getting Abel’s heartbeat recorded for “hospital policy”…the other nurse was checking my dilation…WITH A LATEX GLOVE!!! (I am VIOLENTLY allergic to latex!) She pronounced me at eight centimeters and said, “We’re going to be here for a while…”
As I screamed S*** that was a LATEX glove!!!…
Just then, Abel moved down and I had to push.
The “heartbeat nurse” was stressed because she could not get a heartbeat…the “violating nurse” was ignoring my pleas of pain from the latex…I was saying “I have to PUSH”…Darcy was leaning over my head coaching me through pushing quietly…both nurses were saying “Oh NO, dear, you are only eight centimeters…STOP!”
And… Good ‘ole Dr. Lamb steps in.
He said, to the nurses “This IS this woman’s THIRD baby, she MAY know what she is feeling…” And he sat down to rub olive oil on Abel’s crowning head, and my perineum! (So I would not tear.)
Jeff held my right leg up, and in two pushes…(about 45 seconds) Abel was born.
Dr Lamb laid him on my chest and I exposed a breast so we could start to nurse…
But Abel was NOT breathing well…
We gently rubbed his back and got him stimulated, and he was making a valiant effort, but the little guy could not get a breath in.
(We were told later that the rapid decent he had, and the LITTLE time (about 45 seconds) that he spent in the birth canal was the reason…none of the fluid was squeezed out of his lungs). The nurses took him away and tubed his throat.
After about ten minutes, (and the placenta delivered) they brought him back to me…still pretty blue.
Dr Lamb very gently said to me, “Jessica, this baby boy needs some help…I have called in the NICU doctors…he needs to go to the nursery for a while.” He KNEW how devastated I was…and how much I hate hospitals…and was totally gentle. I appreciated it so much.
Jeff and Dr. Lamb gave Abel a priesthood blessing, and the doctors took him away to clear his lungs and for observation. Jeff went with him to make sure that no one decided to vaccinate him or give him anything but supportive help to breathe.
After a few minutes, I got up to go to the bathroom. I was AMAZED! It did not even burn when I peed! I took a quick shower and Dr. Lamb checked my bottom to see if I needed any stitches. He commented that he had never seen such a quick birth yield such an intact bottom! I did not even have a TINY tear …NOTHING! I was thrilled!
I sent Andrea out for breakfast…I was FAMMISHED!
The NICU nurse came in and said “we are going to feed him some formula…just wanted you to know.” I said, “OVER MY DEAD BODY!!! Bring me a pump!”
She very condescendingly said: “Oh, sweetie, you will not be able to get any milk.”
I said through gritted teeth, “GIVE me a pump!”
She brought in a Medela pump and I expressed six ounces of colostrum (three out of each breast). I could have filled the bottles…I had only weaned Leah a few months earlier, and had never stopped making milk. I called her back in and said…(very condescendingly) “If you need more, just ask…and if my child is given formula…I will OWN this hospital!”
They brought Abel to me after about an hour… “for a visit.” They were not ready to ‘surrender’ him.
He nursed like a champ, and his breathing stabilized DRAMATICALLY while I held him. In hind site…he NEEDED a mom, not an incubator!
Jeff convinced me to stay the night (never again) and let them keep Abel in the nursery “so I could sleep”…(never again!)
I was so very ready to go home in the morning.
They announced that anyone that wanted to be released needed to go to a “release meeting”.
I knew that the only things that would be discussed were how to care for my baby and clean my bottom and I did not need any instruction on either of these issues. I went to the nurses station and said, “I just had my third baby in three years yesterday morning…drug free, about seven minutes after we walked in…I really don’t want to go to this meeting.”
The head nurse said, “You have to, dear.”
I said, “Um…no, I don’t…and if you’ll just bring the release forms to my room, I am ready to go.”
I was not a popular patient. *Grin*
We left the hospital, got home to my clean bed…and Abel, Jeff and I had three days to ‘bond’…Grandma and Grandpa kept Witt and Leah and brought them for visits every day. It was LOVELY!
DAD’S PERSPECTIVE
Wednesday, July 11, 2001
Today our third child, Able Alexander came into the world. He was born at this morning in the birthing center of Chandler Regional Medical Center. Jessica’s doctor was Deryl Lamb, who we really liked. But to get the whole story we need to start at the beginning, which was about last night.
Jessica had come home from her weekly doctor’s appointment with Dr. Lamb and had some serious issues on her mind. Dr. Lamb was going out of town on Thursday and would be gone ‘til Sunday, and he had mentioned that he would like to have Able delivered before he left town.
CHOICES
Jess was at forty weeks and guessing by the pattern in our past two deliveries Able was going to be huge. So we fussed and fuddled…
1. Do we go and have her water broken hoping to induce labor
2. Do we try the Midwives way of inducing childbirth, which includes three enemas and three doses of caster oil?
3. Or do we finally just have faith and wait and hope that Abel will wait until after Sunday to come out in his own time.
And as you can see by this entry we chose to wait. We decided to go with the Midwife induction, which has a 90% success rate and is much better than spending any extra time in the hospital.
The induction began with a heavy regimen of castor oil, black and blue cohosh. And lots of diarrhea, which Jess was already suffering from because she had already tried to induce labor just by drinking castor oil two times before.
After the herbs and castor oil came the enemas.
These were composed of a tea made from loose black cohosh leaves. The idea here was that you take on half of the mixture and hold it for fifteen minutes, then repeat with the other half. We attempted this and failed. So we tried it in three steps. We learned from our midwife, Darcy, that she doesn’t know of anyone that has been able to hold the mixture in for the whole fifteen minutes, so we didn’t feel too bad.
We added our own step and inserted capsules of evening primrose oil into then cervix.
Finally we were able to take a shower and go to bed.
RUDE AWAKENING
I slept well until 1:00am and was scared half to death by this huge banging on the wall. I scrambled back to check on Jess and lo and behold she was in the bathroom in labor. We didn’t call anyone right away because Able had done this to us before–where we think that we are in labor only to find out it is a false alarm. So we waited until almost 3am and made a few phone calls.
Labor progressed at home until about 5am when Jess was at six centimeters dilated and easily stretched to seven.
After Jess showered, we began to caravan to the hospital Best friend Andrea was driving Jess in their minivan with Midwife Darcy inside to help Jess with the labor along the way. Another friend drove Darcy’s car because it had all the roadside delivery stuff in the trunk…just in case. And I brought up the rear with the travel bag and baby’s car seat.
Andrea ran the first traffic signal and left the other friend and I in the dust.
HE POPS OUT!
They arrived about 5 minutes sooner and by the time that I got into the room Jess’ water had broken and she was in bed on her side having the fetal monitor strapped to her. The nurse no sooner found the heart beat than Able dropped an inch. Dr. Lamb was barely able to gown-up and get positioned by the time Abel’s head crowned.
And Able is born.
I think the total time spent in the hospital in labor was I think seven minutes max. We found out why we didn’t feel good about having him at home he was born with breathing problems. Because he came down the birth canal so fast, all the mucus wasn’t squeezed from Abel’s lungs. But around noon he was back with mommy in the room nursing like a champ. There were still moments when his breathing got really wet and the nurses would suck it out. They didn’t hear anything in the lungs it was just in the nasal passages.
TOMORROW…
both he and mommy come home. Other than Abel’s breathing issues this was the most perfect birth. Drug free and beautifully executed. I just about cried as Able was born, tears filling the eyes and everything. I love my wife and I am very proud of her and the mom and woman she has become.
I am really excited to have Able now. I am really grateful for my little family and my beautiful wife. They bring such joy into my life and make it so complete. This is truly what life is about.
